Middle School: Part 3

So it is the first day of middle school, congratulations! This is what every sixth grade parent wants to hear as their darling comes in the door, "thanks mom and dad, that school is great! It is everything that I dreamed it would be over those long months last year, when we were waiting to hear where I would be placed." This is what you undoubtedly will hear, "It smells funny." That is if they are being kind.

This is what parents need to remember for the next two weeks. Your darling has not been in a new school since they were 5 years old. They have been the kings and queens of their elementaries. They knew everyone. They knew exactly what to expect. They knew all the teachers and it smelled familiar. But now they have to change classes in a building that they are afraid to get lost in. Even the sweetest teacher is putting on her mean face to keep the upper hand on the first day of middle school. The kids, whether they are giant and menacing 8th graders or not, are strange. Even kids they have known all their lives are coming back from the summer with breasts and different voices. How weird is that? It can't possibly be a good day.

So here is what you need to do:
First give them a protein filled snack. They probably had lunch at 10:30. Let them zone out for a while at the mindless activity of their choice.

Don't ask them how they liked school. You won't get the answer you want.
Just ask about facts. What color was your math teacher's hair? Do you have to climb stairs? How many minutes in between class? What do you want for lunch tomorrow?
In a couple of weeks they will start to say things like, "I met a nice kid today." "The science teacher is pretty funny." and you will finally get your rewards for dragging them on a million tours the year before.

And children...
have pity on your poor parents. They only want what is best for you. When they look at you pleadingly, hungry for any detail and praying that they made the right choice, say, "Mom, Dad, I love you anyway."

Preparing for Middle School: 2

Are you worried that your sweet darling is going to turn on you without warning the minute puberty kicks in? I can't help you with that, but I may be able to warn you about a couple of things that may give you a slight edge in the situation.

Your 6th grader doesn't have to have instant computer communication with all of their friends. This communication does seem to be necessary when they are a bit older, but in 6th grade they need to figure out how to deal with their new life and time management. Too much unregulated access (and do you want to be the policeman?) is a giant sink hole of problems. If it is difficult for you to self regulate your time on Facebook (you know who you are), it is impossible for your child. You have the power to choose what comes into your home. I just advise that you make conscious choices at each step along the way. Consider whether it is wise to have a computer in their room. This is not necessarily a trust issue. How many times have you looked up from the computer and it was three hours later and you had no idea that time was passing (I am doing it right now!). The time will come when they will go to bed after you are long asleep, but right now they are the ones that really need the shut eye. They are so much nicer when they get it.

That brings up the fact that they look old, but in many ways they still have the same needs that they did when they were toddlers. Sleep, eat and read aloud should be your mantra. They grow when they sleep and they are growing inches every day. Studies show that US teenagers are chronically sleep deprived. I am mean when I am tired (really, don't cross me!) and they will be too. Why go there?

Feed them right away when they get home from school, something healthy with complex carbs or protein. They probably had lunch at 10:30. They are HUNGRY. Feed them before you ask about their day or they will bite your head off.

6th graders have a lot to deal with (more on that in the next "preparing..."). A funny thing happens to many of them. They occasionally take up a little baby language, they climb their giant 5' frames onto your lap, they form a sudden nostalgia for their "childhood". While they are desperately trying to be older, they are also uncomfortable with letting go of the familiar. This is why it is nice to stay friends with kids that are not going to your middle school. They have to be cool with their school friends, but they can be their old selves with their old friends. Don't get rid of all of the Legos or stuffed animals just yet.

They may not want to talk about their day when they get home. A parent can look pretty lame in the cold light of day, but at night, when they are cozy in bed and the lights are low, you look like their beloved moms and dads again. Everybody likes to be read aloud to. If you keep doing the bedtime reading (or start back up) you will be amazed at what happens. First the books just get better and better. But you may find that you don't spend much time on the books. You may end up just talking, and the longer you can keep that tradition going the better.

Happy reading!

Preparing for Middle School: 1

I always waited for the first day of school to get the teacher's list of supplies. Then I would go to Target or Staples and wait in an endless line for the last of the stray, wrinkled, stepped on notebooks that nobody else wanted. I wanted to go in mid summer when the pretty notebooks were out, but NYC starts school so much later than any other district that when I was on vacation in other states, the shelves were clear by mid July. I just went to Staples yesterday and got my gross of $.19 pocket folders and you can too, before they are all gone.

Here is a shopping strategy for the parents of rising 6th graders ready for their first year of Middle School. It is a tough call because your tween will want to wait to see what everyone else has. They may also want the giant binder with pockets and subject dividers for the first time. These will not go to waste even if their teachers don't require them. They will use them all sometime unless they become plastered with Jonas Brothers stickers which will render them "gross" and outdated in 6 months.

This is what you should get:

• the tried and true marble composition books one for each subject (and lots of extras)

• pocket folders for each subject

• spiral notebooks with perforations so that the pages can be torn out without the fringe

If you go shopping now you can find colorful (actually attractive) composition notebooks. Get them in different colors for each subject, red for ELA, blue for math, green for science etc. Then get the corresponding colored pocket folders and spiral notebooks for those subjects too. That way when the books are strewn all over the living room at 7am and your child only needs science and ELA that day, he can easily see what needs to go into the backpack. If they are all the same color or random designs imagine the horror (and notes home that he doesn't have his work in class).

• pads of graph paper for math (some have 4 sq. per in. on one side and 5 on the other so that you have all bases covered)

• lots of #2 pencils, a sharpener, and some mechanical lead pencils for math

• colored construction paper, glue sticks, markers of all kinds (you thought the projects would stop?!)

• extra poster board (white and in color) and a spare tri-fold card board display (thanks Felicity)

• lots of extra printer paper and many extra ink cartridges

Middle school is when the computer becomes a part of your child's body. I have a couple things to say about this. ALWAYS HAVE AN EXTRA INK CARTRIDGE IN THE HOUSE. Oh yes, you will use the last one and think, I will reorder that in a couple of weeks like I normally do, but a week later at midnight when the giant social studies project is due, suddenly there will be no ink, because your child spent the last week printing out multiple copies of different size pictures of civil war uniforms that they didn't use. Hear me now or suffer the consequences. Always have at least one extra cartridge and ream of paper in the house. Always.

Happy shopping!

My Dad; living green

I just need to brag on my dad, Richard Kubalak, who turned 80 this year. He and my mother moved to a "community for active seniors" a couple of years ago and he joined the model sailboat club.

My father was an art teacher, librarian and school audio/visual supervisor, but mostly he has been a lifelong user of recycled materials in an effort to have more fun. He made kites out of the Sunday funnies. He once attended a costume party wrapped in bubble wrap with a hidden tape recorder that played heavy breathing sounds. His office and library were decorated with objects that he found or created and we couldn't wait to visit to just hang out in the environments that he made. Give him an afternoon, some toilet paper tubes and a solar battery and stand back. I joked when they moved to Greenspring that there would be a pile of "hall walkers" who had coronaries in front of their door when his motion sensitive, kinetic sculpture jumped out and said "HELLO!" (My mother, a minimalist, decided on a less stressful option)

His sailboat club, located a few miles from the Pentagon, is full of former Navy guys. When my father joined, he began experimenting with different sail materials, and winning races. Imagine the uproar when he showed up with the non-regulation red nylon (which helps him actually see his boat from across the pond). The ultimate triumph occurred the other day when he showed up with a sail made from the wrapper of a Costco bushel of paper towels. Needless to say, he cleaned up in his races that day.

Teen Treks

My teens are all over the map this summer.

They got back from a great Teen Treks bike trip across Mass. from Albany to Provincetown on the Cape. This is the second trip for one of them and it didn't disappoint. The rain and the Berkshires didn't deter them (although now when we are sitting in a car and they see a slight incline they exclaim "oh no, a hill!") It was a fantastic small group this year and they did everything from Tanglewood to Great Adventure, lots of beaches and two days in Boston. I highly recommend this trip for giving them a real sense of accomplishment and adventure.

We hardly had time to scrape the bike grease off before we headed to the family reunion in Chicago. Chicago is a great town for kids with amazing free summer concerts and programs all over the city (and a great bike path along the lake and its own beaches). It is a little early, but we decided to tour Northwestern as long as we were in the neighborhood. There is plenty to love there and I highly recommend their tour which was "awesome!" We had a very excited tour guide who also happened to be extremely knowledgeable (good job Northwestern, my kids are now looking further west than they were a week ago).

I have to give a shout out to Daniel, junior at Stuy, who I happen to know, follows this blog religiously. He is doing a summer debate program at Northwestern that sounds interesting. It seems that I have a few fans at Stuy, Hi J.! which keeps me from writing anything really interesting about my kids.

Robobaby

The words every mom of a teen is fearful to see in a text, "I got the baby!" These were not so ominous because she only had it for 24 hours, so I texted back, "awesome!" and waited for Robobaby to arrive.

My daughter, as a sophomore, has had "Health" this year instead of gym. It has been a terrific class, which the teacher gleefully describes as having one goal - making sure that none of them gets pregnant. It is much more than that. This class has been so enlightening that I think of it akin to the salad making scene in "To Sir, With Love". Ms. B. is getting them ready for the real world; they rolled the dice to get a job or career (so far, so good), they planned their weddings, wrote vows, made a yearly budget ("why do I have to pay for my husband's deodorant?!"), watched videos of real births ("like, 15 times! disgusting!") assembled their layettes, and finally she brought Robobaby home for a sleepover.

First the school had us sign a paper saying that if anything happens to Robobaby we are responsible for the cost, $350. (I imagine my husband at 2am going at Robobaby with a phillips-head, trying to disarm its crying mechanism.) The kids get the baby for a day (no raw eggs or bags of flour for Murrow!) They have a key that is attached to their wrists with the kind of unbreakable tag that you get at amusement parks so that you can't hand responsibility over to someone else. The key disarms the crying mechanism. The baby records how many times you neglect it or don't support its head. My daughter had to get special permission to delay her baby because she was in a play. For a split second she could tell, Ms. B was thinking, "well, what are you going to do if you had a REAL baby?" and she thought better of it. (Nobody crosses the Murrow Drama Dept.)

So, yesterday afternoon she arrived and was promptly placed in the darling hand painted cradle that held the stuffies and cowbaby. Of course as a new mother, my daughter checked her every 10 minutes because the baby wasn't doing anything. (She had been told it was programed "colicky"). I said, "just wait", and yes, at midnight Robobaby started to cry at irregular intervals until the three of us made my daughter and her progeny sleep on the sofa where we couldn't hear them scream. I am sure that she will get a good grade. She is a very attentive mother. Mostly, I am thankful that she can now stick to a budget, that she knows how much her cell phone costs, that she is thinking about her 401K and that she will make her husband buy his own deodorant.

NUTS again

This was one of my earliest posts, but I went to parent teacher conferences last night and I think that it is still relevant.

I invented a new sport in my mind tonight. “In my mind” is my favorite kind of sport because I always win. I went to Parent/Teacher conferences at Murrow. We are blessed with a “Type A” perfectionist. I have nothing to complain to her teachers about and it is usually a 3-minute love fest. (Hey, I like my compliments cheap and often) The trick is to see all of the teachers in the 2 hours allotted. I need my teacher face time.

Let me explain the rules. You wait with hundreds of other parents in a giant shivering mass outside the school doors like it’s a Who concert with festival seating. (Imagine how those teachers feel, trapped inside with only an endless line of “issues” before them) If you are an “elite” NUTS player like myself, you have a list of teachers and room numbers coded by location. In a school the size of Murrow, this is key. You race to the farthest room, sign your name on the list outside the door and repeat on all lists in the near vicinity. Then you send your husband who is having trouble reading the map to sign up on other floors. (This may be a tactical error) If you are positioned outside the door when your name comes up on the list, you may go in and have your 3 minutes. If you arrive back to the classroom after your name has already been called you go to the end of the now endless list. The art of it is to fit in a couple of the less popular teachers between the majors. The team who finishes all their conferences in the least amount of time gets to go home and have a stiff drink.

10pts off for brow beating the poor student organizing the list outside the door.

5pts for doing the quick switch with the team right behind you on the list when you arrive just a minute too late.

2pts off for getting cornered by the candy sellers

10pts for giving them a $5 and not taking any candy

5pts for snagging a chair

10pts off for erasing names ahead of you on the list

10pts for visiting the phys ed. Teacher

Good Luck and may the GAMES BEGIN!

Teen Treks #5

She's back from Montreal. It was great. She wants to do it again. The rain coat was shredded but other than that everything came home, including the large unread book. She talked a mile a minute about every detail until she hit the couch and instantly fell asleep. She woke up long enough to whisper "pizza" and "pedicure" and then back into dreamland.

We are happy to have our darling girl home again. She can't wait to see her sister. It always amazes us that they have so much to talk to each other about even when they are with each other every minute. So up to Rhode Island this weekend to retrieve the mildewy sleeping bag and soggy twin A.

Teen Treks #4

Twin B was sighted in Burlington Vt. (by a pre-approved, non-stalkerish friend of the family). She is tan, happy and ready to kick our lazy, non bike riding butts when she returns home in 5 days.

No word from Twin B (known as the "good phone contact twin") unlike her sister, "the good house key remembering twin". Together they make one perfect child. The first year at camp all we received were envelops full of stationary that all said, "Sendmunchies.com" Needless to say, we were more than a little put off by the lack of substantive news and declined to order the $40. brownies online. So far there is no word from Rhode Island. Silence is golden and so are the candid photos from bunk1.com

Teen Treks #3

Got the call. Got the rain. But it wasn't as bad as I had imagined. It was a scheduled call, and even though hearing our voices made my daughter emotional, she did squeak out that it was fun before we lost the connection. The postcards are a different story. Because of the snail mail time lag, they were written in the first couple exhausting days, when their tent was flooded out. "...low blood sugar sucks..." I have been on google maps looking at terrain and I am quite jealous of the beautiful scenery they will be traveling through. We are quite proud of her. She said that after the first day she was going to call us to pick her up, but she pushed through it.

We just dropped off "twin A" at sleep away camp and all we had to contend with were memories of "Shark Week" and how to smuggle the rice crispy treats past the counselors.

Teen Treks #2

Day 2, no rain, no call.

After checking the itinerary and studying my online maps I realize that while we visit my uncle on July 4th, we will be 10 miles from my daughter's campground. I cook up several schemes including leaving mystery cookies at the Ranger's Station. My husband suggests that we just drive by and wave, but don't stop. My other daughter wisely convinces us that this is all too "stalkerish".

Disaster averted, dignity maintained, just barely managing to be a good parent.

Teen Treks

Yesterday we loaded up my daughter's panniers and bungeed up her bike until it looked like the Beverly Hillbillies' truck and sent her on a 400 mile bike trek with 9 other high school students and two adorably peppy adults to Montreal. In March, when I booked this trip, it seemed like an exciting adventure. Right now it seems like my first baby steps toward letting go. This whole parenting thing is not for the faint of heart.

This trip was the product of my internet search, but my daughters have always craved an outward bound type challenge. They love the pure idea of "Survivor". The problem with the show is that it is too much jumping over tiki torches and eating spiders in return for Mountain Dew and not enough foraging for roots and berries. So right this minute my baby has ridden 27 miles on a bike that weighs more than she does and is foraging for berries in Nyack. No rain today. No support van. I imagine over-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner being thrown out along 9W. I imagine her returning bronzed and hairy, with legs like that cyclist in the "Triplets of Bellville", mouthing off in youth hostel Canadian French and preferring foreign bagels. That's if we don't get a call. What have I done!?

My husband said, "Can't you stop worrying and enjoy her trip?". I said, "Are you nuts! This trip is not for MY enjoyment! It is my penance for hovering and meddling and too many organized activities. This trip is so she can develop her executive function and get a Canadian boyfriend" (not really, she has a wonderful boyfriend to whom she will remain ever true) That is when I successfully transfered my parental dread and he woke up sweating at 4am. Mission accomplished.

Her sister is continuing on at their old faithful sleep away camp. The inmates running the asylum, I call it. She will be just as happily filthy and foul mouthed and full of contraband junk food when she returns home. So far, the beginning to a successful summer. They did a week of hard duty babysitting and found some some giant yellowed paperbacks that are sure to make them weep on the couch for a week. Those were the days.

Keep me in your thoughts and pray for no rain.

Stoop Sale Diaries #1

So my husband and I are stoop sale freaks. We know all the regulars, buyers and sellers. (A shout out here to Leslie, we still have your picture frame) We have seen the demise of the taped flier, to be followed by sidewalk chalk and Craig’s listings. We can read a sale. Recent breakup – lots of the ex’s belongings going cheap and “how to buy a puppy” books. World traveler – Frommer’s, Rick Steves, Time Out wherever and lots of small wooden carvings. Out grown the quirky collection – Pez, rusty lunch boxes, ice cream scoops. Long time neighborhood resident – clothes for under a dollar, paperbacks 50 cents, haggling is a sport not an insult.

Here is the #1 rule of selling – every sale you will make is an impulse buy for your customer. It doesn’t matter that you paid too much for your item new, and then never used it. On the street it is worth $2. If you are in it for the money, you will do better on eBay. The tradition of stoop sales in my humble opinion (as a seller as well as a buyer) is to get the stuff out of your house and recycle to someone who will love it. The more you buy, the cheaper the price should be.

This is what we found on Sunday:

3 Christmas Cd's (including Paul Revere and the Raiders Christmas)

a free bottle opener/10 second digital recorder

Ultimate Outburst (in the plastic, for use at the family reunion this summer)

Glitter batons for the two little girls downstairs

A small fan for my hot head husband

A wireless router (ours just broke!)

A wooden massage roller

The Illustrated History of the British Invasion

Various necklaces

A bright pink velvet evening jacket with lots of details (great with skinny jeans and the pink ballet flats we got last spring)

Every week you will inexplicably see the same book title over and over at all of the sales. The title changes from week to week. Some randomness expert needs to write their PHD dissertation on this phenomenon. This week every sale had Time and Again by Jack Finney, a book we enjoyed and bought several copies of to give to friends. More than the usual Harry Potters were also present.

We had some great conversations too; where to camp, hitchhiking in the Pacific Northwest, the best places to eat in Sullivan County, what it is like to own an Airstream, neighborhood choirs. Whether you buy or not, it is the easiest way to make small talk with your neighbors. Stoop sales give me a reason to stroll in the beautiful weather with my sweetheart and love all my funky neighbors (except the costume jewelry guy that is at every sale 5 minutes ahead of me)

Happy shopping!

How I Learned to Love Camping; Stop Packing.

I used to dread camping because it took forever to pack. The trick is to have a prepacked kitchen box and some equipment ready to just get in the car and go. Years ago I got an LLBean credit card with benefits. After you have collected enough points you get a $10 credit on LLBean stuff as well as free shipping (and monogramming if you are into that) That is how I got all our camping stuff (that I didn’t get at stoop sales). I just read a post that someone sent back their 8 year old tent for repair, for free. We had the experience that if they couldn’t repair something they gave us a new one. I like them.

This is what we always take:

Tent, a plastic sheet for under (tuck the edges under the tent so the water doesn’t wick under) a couple of big tarps with grommets for a rain cover over the tents (the tent waterproofing and rain flaps will probably work well, but the thought of keeping all rain off the top of the tent makes the rain sound cozy instead of ominous)

Sleeping Bags and roll up foam pads

A shelter for the picnic table with zippered net sides

The big ball of twine

A Swiss army knife

A little shovel

A whisk broom

A large flat round grill for the fire ring

A hammock

A couple of battery operated lanterns and flashlights for everyone

A net bag or toy bucket to carry your shampoo etc. to the showers

The kitchen box:

I got the shmancy one from Bean with my coupons, but really you could just have a big plastic box from Target with a lid that you keep packed with:

A set of plastic dishes (one set for each of you)

A big plastic bowl

A couple of mugs and utensils

A couple of stoop sale pots and a pan

Paper towels with the tube taken out (better for squashing)

Some folded tin foil, and a bunch of different sized zip lock bags (they come in handy for everything including storing food that is floating around in the melted ice of the cooler)

Salt, pepper, sugar, tea, ground coffee

Plastic french press coffee maker

Some stoop sale column candles and something pretty to put wildflowers in

A pretty vinyl table cloth (these things sound excessive, but when I am smelly and dirty and sleeping on the ground, nothing makes me feel better than having a good cup of coffee at my pretty table in the woods)

A bag of fire starters (those lighter soaked sawdust sticks that can start fires with the wettest wood)

Bic Barbecue lighter (some matches too)

Some long handled barbecue tools and skewers for shishkabab (the most delicious and easiest meal)

A large cooler with a tap to drain melted ice

A couple of collapsible camping buckets for water and dish washing

A small container of dishsoap

Batteries of all types

My most treasured item: The pie iron…

Butter two pieces of bread, put them in the cast iron sides, pour in some raw scrambled eggs and cheese, or some banana slices and peanut butter, or apple slices and cinnamon sugar, you are only limited by your own imagination. Close it, clamp it and put it in the fire for a couple of minutes. Repeat while a huge line of children forms behind you. On second thought take two pie irons. Being cast iron, they stay very hot for a long time, only experienced older children should be allowed to use them.

A word on food. I marinate meat for a couple of meals (cubes for shishkabab, etc.) and freeze them rock hard in a couple of quart Chinese soup containers. They thaw slowly in an icy cooler and keep everything else cold as well. I don't take those frozen plastic blue cold packs they are just dead weight after they thaw.

I am sure that I have forgotten something, but when you have a prepacked kitchen box it is less likely that you need to buy it at the horribly over priced camp store.

Where We Camp

We do at least one camping trip a year. We have had a lot of different experiences with campgrounds. Private campgrounds can be in beautiful locations, but some are pretty loose about alcohol and noise restrictions and that can make a beautiful spot horrible. We have gone the 5 star private campground route with relatives who like electric and water hook ups and all of the amenities. These are very well run and manicured with pools and lots of activities for kids, but you pay through the nose for a controlled experience. So far, for us the National and State campgrounds are the best combination of amenities, scenery and relative quiet.

We have been to Dingman’s and we have heard great things about North South Lake. Both of them are within an easy weekend drive of the city. We gravitate to the Delaware Water Gap for an easy weekend camp. If you are north of the Gap by Port Jervis eat at the Eagle’s Nest Restaurant (reasonable, American, family dining) for the most spectacular views of the river. 58 Eagle’s Nest Road Bloomington, NY 845 733-4561 April-Dec. W, TH, SUN 5:30-9

www.dingmanscampground.com

Lake George

www.lakegeorgeescape.com

This campsite had a pool, river campsites, a DJ and bonfires in the evening, tubing on the river, arts and crafts, go carts, and you pay for it, but the experienced RV campers that work at the store knew all of the most beautiful hidden hikes around Lake George. Even with all of the “designed for family fun” activities, the day that we spent at the secluded waterfall and picnicking on the rocks by the lake was the day the kids remember. We spent a day in town at the scary wax museum, water park and para sailing, and one day in Saratoga Springs walking around all of the different springs and checking out the race track. It was a fantastic trip, but there may be a more economical option close by. You just need to find a local that will fill you in on the secluded hikes around the east side of the lake.

Bar Harbor

https://barharborcampingresorts.com/

This was another fancy campground for the in-laws but it was in a good location, had a heated pool. It was located on a bay where we were able to collect pounds of mussels for our dinner at night. These private campgrounds have lots and lots of RVs so you are not exactly out in the wilderness. I am sure that you could find a more secluded spot, but it is nice to be on Mount Desert Island if you are making the park your destination. If you can plan ahead and make a reservation at the National Park, that is always the way to go.

http://www.nps.gov/acad/

Lancaster County

I won’t list the expensive campground we found here. It was a lovely week, but we found that with all of the activities and beautiful Amish farmland we couldn't get the nature fix we needed. It is all private farmland and though beautiful, we didn’t feel welcome to wander at will.

My next post will be about planning and packing.

Planning Great Trips

We start with the budget. The year we went to Costa Rica, we were really planning on going to California. I was just playing around on Orbitz. The plane fare to Costa Rica was cheaper. This year we were supposed to visit friends in Germany. The Euro was going to kill us. I got a tip on the soccer field. We decided on Ireland instead. We still had the Euro, but it was a much cheaper trip because it was all nature which is free. I forgot to mention our trip to Colonial Williamsburg in Feb. a couple of years ago. We go everywhere off season. We were at Mesa Verde the day after it opened for the season. Sometimes we don't see everything that you would see during the summer, but we are always the only people there and that makes it GREAT!

I have the money saved before we go. I found that a dedicated ingdirect account that I add to every month keeps the money safe from being used for other things. I love to see my spring break travel money in that account in Feb. when I am buying the tickets. This way we come home with the photos and no debt to play catch up with. It enables us to say "let's charter the boat out to seal island" without worrying about the extra hundred dollars.

I trade notes with my like-minded friends. All of my best ideas are versions of trips I borrowed from them. We visit friends when we can and some day soon we will probably start trading apt. overseas.

I also look for locations where the dollar is going to go the farthest. That isn't many places these days, but it sometimes leads us places we wouldn't normally go, including the Erie Canal.

My kids don't like museums. Even though they say they want to go to Paris, I know that they would be awful there; tired and grumpy. They will really want to go someday, but not just because it is where their friends went. When I plan, I have to be very realistic about my family's needs. My husband is unhappy if he doesn't feel he's getting a deal and he really doesn't care about the food (give him a jar of peanut butter and he is good to go in any country). He also doesn't like the same experience twice. My kids like nature and adventure travel and they have a pathological fear of being seen as tourists. We try and focus on being travelers rather than tourists for their delicate sensibilities. I am all about the food and the weirder and more original the experience the better. We ate crickets in Oaxaca. I can't remember where the car is parked, but I remember what was on the sandwich I ate when I was 10 years old driving through the Blue Ridge Mountains. To compromise we shop at local markets. I love them and I love to haggle, and my husband thinks we are getting a bargain. We like quirky experiences. The Neon Museum in Vegas and the Erie Canal going over a road were two highlights. We limit the electronics. I prefer to get lodging without TV. We have been reading aloud to each other from "All Creatures Great and Small" since Costa Rica. We laugh and do voices and read the same passages over and over because we always lose our place and fall asleep too soon. When I am older and grayer they will be the fondest memories of my life. I am not an ogre and my kids are not perfect. I will occasionally splurge on a fancy hotel (usually some great promotional deal online) and we will have the beautiful lobby, pool and huge TV. Not having it all the time really makes it a bigger deal.

I hope that I am teaching my children about the value of a dollar as I teach them about the value of the experience. They know we make a conscious effort to save to get something that we really love. They also know that we are saving for many other things as well; college, retirement, causes we believe need our support and a rainy day. It is no fun missing pizza night, but would you rather have Chinese food in Brooklyn or China?

Let me know where we should go next.

Tween Town

This is what I like to do with out of town tween girls in NYC. Here is the secret to being a great tour guide. Keep them fed at frequent intervals. Don't walk them like a regular New Yorkers; they will turn zombie on you. Jump in a cab FAST when you see it coming on. Keep the destinations varied; educational, silly, glamorous. It is hard not to make a tween trip all about the shopping, but if you sprinkle a little interesting and inexpensive shopping in between the museums, they may stay alert.
Upper East Side: If you are doing a museum (and you are taking your life in your hands to do two in a day) head further east and take a ride on the Roosevelt Island tram. Pack a deli sandwich to eat on Roosevelt Island, take a breath and look at Manhattan, stop in at Serendipity if there is no line (ha!) for a frozen hot chocolate, and top it off with a little shopping at Dylan's Candy Bar. Even though I am tired of it, Dylan's may just be the highlight of their trip.

Midtown: You could stop in at the Toys R Us to wait in line for the Ferris Wheel, but we like to ride the elevators in the Marriott Marquis for free (did I mention that they are glass elevators?). Get an "outside" elevator, one sort of in the center, ride all the way to the top floor and try for an uninterrupted trip to the ground floor. Repeat until you stop squealing. Then head across the street to the Edison Hotel restaurant for matzah ball soup, blintzes and egg creams. We also like to use the bathrooms at the Paramount or whatever fancy new boutique hotel has just been renovated. Undoubtedly, they have a Sephora at the mall at home, but you want to be glamorous when you go to Broadway. We go for makeovers before the show and put on the most fabulously outrageous peacock colored eyeshadow imaginable. It doesn't fly back home, but heh, you are having a madcap Manhattan weekend. The best lunch or dinner spot ever is the Burger Bar in the Parker Meridian in midtown. You go into this sleek, grand lobby, look for the small neon burger sign and enter another world; cardboard signs, grease stained paper bags of french fries and the occasional celebrity. The burgers aren't only great, they are the best bargain in town. You can't miss.

High tea is fun for tweens. Although I like to wear a big flowered hat, they usually don't allow it. It is great to stop for a fancy version at the Palace or some other institution, and contrast it with Tea and Sympathy in the village. There are some pretty good walking tours in the village as well. It is interesting for them to see a real speakeasy at Chumley's (even if it is only from the outside), the skinniest house, see the site of the Triangle Shirtwaist fire (which they study about in school) and the bodies buried under Washington Square Park when it was considered way out of town. You have to go to The Forbes Museum on lower 5th Ave. It is free and it is the perfect tween collection of Faberge' Eggs and Toys, beautifully displayed (I think that it closes at around 4 so don't leave it to the end of the day).

I like Sundays downtown. Dim sum at some huge Chinatown dumpling palace will blow their minds. Shopping at Pearl River, and a scoop of red bean or green tea at the Ice Cream Factory is always a hit. Then a tour at the Tenement Museum and a pickle on the lower east side. As long as you are downtown, walk across The Bridge and have some cheese cake at Juniors. Sit at the counter for the most colorful waiters.

I don't like waiting in line for things; it wastes time and drains energy. For me the Staten Island Ferry is a great view of the Statue of Liberty. The Empire State Building is open until midnight, so if you go early evening your wait isn't horrible (if you go at 11pm, it is even quieter, but there are lots of people kissing)

The best tour for out of town relatives that I ever heard was mentioned on WNYC. You get each visitor to write a country name on a slip of paper. You proceed to eat at a restaurant from each of those countries during their stay. You wake your guests at midnight, hop in a car and drive to Time Square to demonstrate that this is in fact, the city that never sleeps.