I want to be proactive in high school admissions

Sigh. I get it. I am that person. Unfortunately, the DoE doles out information on a need to know basis. They don’t help people who want to be proactive and do things ahead of time. Trying to do this often ends up as an exercise in frustration. If you push too hard, you will absolutely make this much harder for yourself than it actually is. This is a particular challenge for private school families who are considering transitioning from private to public, who are coming from a different culture and are afraid of missing something.

My recommendation? Consider Lao Tzu and follow the watercourse way. “Water is fluid, soft and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield.” Learn when to breathe and be patient, and learn what you can do on your own terms ahead of time. Get in the flow and actually it is not that bad. Really.

• You can’t change the DoE’s timeline. They are rigid and unyielding in that. There are no exceptions. You won’t get a MYSCHOOLS account before they are ready to release the access codes. There is no ‘first come, first served’ to this process. Don’t waste your vital energy in trying to get them do something they will never do. Once they are ready to accommodate you, things should be quite easy and fast, but if you have been banging your head against a brick wall of no information for 3 months, it won’t feel that way. Don’t do that to yourself.

• Stop being upset about not being able to find information about the fall admissions before the fall. The DoE will reveal the dates, and specifics in their own good time. Getting upset and frustrated when searching for things that don’t exist yet, is wasted energy. It is better to understand how the DoE generally operates and then you can anticipate how they are generally going to proceed. They follow an internal logic. They are not arbitrary.

• Imagining leverage that doesn’t exist is wasted energy. There are no recommendations, extra-curriculars, resumes, personal advocacy, or mysterious strategy that will add advantage in this process. The private school culture in that way is VERY different from the public school culture. The broad brush aspect to public school admissions is a huge relief as much as it can feel as though you have no power over the outcome. Oh yeah, give up trying to have power over the outcome - Your power is about creating balance (also fairly Zen), in your list and in your expectations.

This is what can you do ahead of time:

• Learn as much as you can from past years about how the DoE structures things. You will be surprised at how little things change in the big picture. You need to understand about the different admissions criteria, but you won’t know the exact parameters and minutiae ahead of time, and that is ok.

• You can find out a lot about the individual schools ahead of time, from neighbors, websites, Facebook, me. Delight in the tiny surprises and talented educators that you discover. If you are coming from public school, ask your guidance counselor about the schools that are popular with your community. You can filter the Directory in various ways. Join the community forum of Parents of NY Teens. They are a lot of older parents lurking there. It quite a chill and thoughtful group of supporters. There is also “the facebook group”. There is much more emotion there, but if you can remain above the fray - lots of information too.

• Watch your kid. What are their natural talents and interests? What makes them frustrated and blocks them? In all things, try not to be rigid. Rigid things break. Keep your mind open to some surprises. Just because you haven’t heard of a school doesn’t mean that it isn’t wonderful.

• Coming to one of my webinars is a way to understand the process. You can also watch the many videos and read the DoE’s website.

• This blog was not meant as a commercial, but if you want more help finding individual schools, I can help you with that.

Understand that attending school in the greatest city in the world is not easy, but you are also surrounded by world class cultural institutions, people from every nation and culture, unbelievable access to business, trades, and sports. The hassles of NYC are also its greatest advantages. Go with the flow.